Itagi

So, can anyone think of any kind of football related tournament
happening next summer? No? Me neither.

Oh, alright, there is one - Euro 2008 will be an England-free-zone.
Rejoice Austrian Policefolk, weep sellers of little car flags and cheap
multipack lager. Steve McClaren blew the whole fandango. It’s not his
fault though, really - he was hired for a job he wasn’t cut out for. The
Peter Principle suggests that people are promoted to their level of
incompetence and thus the England job was entrusted to an average
Premiership manager. He’d had been a very successful number 2 at
Manchester United and an apparently OK number 2 at England during a
management era that felt at the time like continuous unrelenting dull
underachievement and now glows in the light of hindsight like a beacon
of sporting success. McClaren’s one major achievement as England manager
was to make Sven look really really good.

So Steve went, and it was time to get a successor in. The “he’s gotta be
English cos that’s what’s wrong with this game all these foreigners
comin’ over ‘ere and takin’ our jobs and makin’ us look bad with their
work ethic and higher technical ability” voice that screamed so loudly
after Sven went has been almost completely silenced by the McClaren era.
Which, come to think about it, is another major achievement. Well done
there Steve. This means that we weren’t faced with another the choice
between the least worst English candidates (incidentally, the FA got
that badly wrong. is there ANYONE who doesn’t think Alan Curbishley
would have done a better job than McClaren? Maybe even Big Sam’s 4-5-1
would have been better, but that seems marginal to me). So most of us
wanted Jose - he’d be fun, he’s been wildly successful, but he
definitely wouldn’t want the job. Then, suddenly, two articles appeared
in the Guardian suggesting that he’d done loads of work on how he would
run England and actually maybe he WOULD want the job after all.

England had mastered a new trick. Raising expectations, only to dash
them into the rocks, has been the order of business for England my whole
life. But even they had never managed to do that outside of the context
of actual football matches. In the space of one day they did just that:
the mini-saga of Mourinho and the “Club England” he promised. By the end
of that day, he’d ruled himself out, and once again, expectations
crashed. Impressive work, England.

Then in the space of about 3 days, the man who’d announced his desire
for the job on the day McClaren had been sacked over breakfast was given
the job. Fabio Capello is going to be the new England manager. He’s one
of the most successful football managers in the modern game. 4 Scudettos
in charge of AC Milan, one with serial underachievers Roma, 2 with
Juventus, although one of them didn’t count because of all the cheating
and that and a
Champions League win with AC Milan - 4-0 against Barca in the most one
sided final I’ve ever seen (ok, Champions League final - otherwise you
have to include United’s recent cup glories against Wigan and Milwall.)

Capello also boasts my favourite achievement ever in European football.
2 stints with Real Madrid. 2 La Liga championships, 2 sackings at the
end of the season. Honestly Real - what’re you like eh? Tchh…Those crazy
Madridistas and their rampant footballing irrationalism!

So far, so wildly successful. During an email dialogue earlier today, my
friend Phill also awarded Capello the much sought after title of “Best
Glasses in World Football.” Capello is a 4 time recipient of this award,
and has had a long running feud with Edgar Davids (5 time winner of the
award.) Capello claims that Davids’ wins lack moral authority, as some
of his wins came whilst he was using Nandralone, so the award was as
tainted as Davids’ glasses were tinted.

There has been ridiculous talk of Capello’s lack of international
experience. International management isn’t like club management - most
of the really successful international coaches were inexperienced at
that level when they got the job. Capello played 32 times for Italy, so
has some experience of the international game. He’s been successful at
the highest level of European Club competition as a manager, and is now
61 - that’s how international managers are supposed to be forged.

Much has been made of Capello’s inability to speak English. By the time
qualification for South Africa 2010 rolls around next autumn, I reckon
he’ll speak English just fine.

There are downsides to his appointment - he is devoted to results rather
than style. His pragmatism is the reason he lost his Madrid job both
times, and grinding out the 1-0 wins won’t endear him to all sections of
the British press - a tricky bunch (actually, does anyone want to start
the speculation about what vegetable will be assigned to him should he
fall short of winning the world cup?). In the aforementioned
conversation with Phill he told me the story of “a Madrid pre-season
friendly in China when 1-0 up with 30 minutes left he [Capello] put
everyone behind the ball to protect their lead and get the win.” I think
there might be a lot of happy Owen Hargreaves fans out there!

Anyway, it’ll be fascinating to watch it all play out. One thing he
definitely has going for him is that he can’t be any worse than the last
chap. And as for Euro 2008 - allez Les Bleus!